Six and a half years. Where did all the time go?

Lots have happened. I found love, lost love, found love. I am still with the same employer for the past eight and a half years. I bought my first apartment two and a half years ago. Things have changed.

So what spurred me to write again? I feel lost, sorta.

I invested a lot of time and effort to build my career with my present employer. Things were going well, I was in a visible position, worked well with my boss, felt I was doing something meaningful and moving somewhere with my career. I was constantly given challenges thrown my way, and I knew that if I overcome them, my efforts will be recognized and rewarded.

Things changed about a year and a half ago. My manager, whom I have built a great working relationship with abruptly exited the company. Before she left, she moved me into a role which was required at that time and leveraged on the best of my skills. Her exit created uncertainties throughout the whole function, and we were left drifting without any sense of direction for almost a year before a new boss came in.

The new boss was a breath of fresh air. He seems enthusiastic, really passionate about making a difference, and overall a nice guy. The company went through a series of restructuring amidst a major acquisition, and things took a turn for the worse due to a depressed economy as cost cutting initiatives were executed throughout the whole company. The career that I have built for the past decade suddenly seems really fragile.

I have let my career defined who I am, and without a clear direction, I feel lost, worthless even. It made me question about the choices I made, could have made, should not have made.....self-doubt kicked in big time. But I know, your past choices lead you to where you are now, but they do not define your future.

If I had a choice, I wish life could be simpler. Perhaps this should be the underlying principle in all the choices I am going to make in the future.