Mood: Gloom
Turning 29 is not a turning point in my life. It is, however the first time in many years that I celebrated my birthday with such festivities. I thank all my friends and colleagues who took the time out and celebrated my birthday with me, I really had a fantastic time.
November seems to be a month of birthdays. Joo, Alvin, Kerry, Caroline, Ben, Jennifer, Joe, Tracie, Windy, Yeacy, Sylvia......and the list goes on. The reason for this phenomenon, in my opinion, is that around February (Valentine's Day) of each year, couples tend to increase their pro-create-tivity (if there is ever such a word) due to the season of love and 9 months down the road they reap the fruits of their labour of love. Sweet huh? It is however an expensive month for those with many Scorpion friends. You burn a hole in your pocket buying gifts and dinners you wish you didn't have any friends.
Ever since the departure of my immediate supervisor, I've taken on most of his responsibilities, on top of my own. With the transfer of Akshay to another department and only Daphne to support, I've been stretched beyond what I thought I was capable of doing. To me, it seems like there are too many things going on at the same time that requires my attention, and my failure is sometimes being unable to prioritise things, and at times, trying to put everything as priority. I've been putting considerable stress on myself to deliver the resourcing brochure in time and of stellar quality. Although my boss is generally quite happy with the progress, I feel that there are so many things I could have done better. It sucks to be feeling this way.
My health, of late hasn't been fantastic either. Just last week during training, I felt like vomitting halfway and had to take a rest. The past few days my stomach has been feeling weak and hurts when I walk. With the race on Saturday, I feel physically unprepared for it and I feel really really disappointed with myself. I believe it is all stress related and I need to find a way to alleviate my stress quickly!
Like a Scorpion who've lost its sting, I feel like I've lost my worth. I hope to get my groove back soon.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Sava Sprint 2008 - September 13 & 14 @ Bedok Reservoir
Results:
Men's 500m finals - 5th placing (out of 15 teams)
Men's 200m finals - 5th placing (out of 15 teams)
We always lose out on a medal. Just when we thought we had a chance of bringing home a medal this year, stronger teams emerge to dash our hopes. This teaches us never to be complacent, and to push ourselves to the limits and beyond every time we get on the boat.
Personally, I feel that I still have some way to go to be able to compete competitively. I've tried my best yesterday and today and really pushed myself to focus on the race, and not the aching in my muscles or the scorching sun on my skin. I've improved since the last race (SDBF) in terms of technique and endurance, and I hope that this coming River Regatta in November, I can truly give myself a big pat on my back and say I am part of Naga Team A!
Behind each weary silhouette is a fierce determination to do our very best and make our brothers proud. That is the true Naga spirit.
Men's 500m finals - 5th placing (out of 15 teams)
Men's 200m finals - 5th placing (out of 15 teams)
We always lose out on a medal. Just when we thought we had a chance of bringing home a medal this year, stronger teams emerge to dash our hopes. This teaches us never to be complacent, and to push ourselves to the limits and beyond every time we get on the boat.
Personally, I feel that I still have some way to go to be able to compete competitively. I've tried my best yesterday and today and really pushed myself to focus on the race, and not the aching in my muscles or the scorching sun on my skin. I've improved since the last race (SDBF) in terms of technique and endurance, and I hope that this coming River Regatta in November, I can truly give myself a big pat on my back and say I am part of Naga Team A!
Behind each weary silhouette is a fierce determination to do our very best and make our brothers proud. That is the true Naga spirit.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
These Hands
Him
It feels empty nowadays, when there is nothing to hold on to. The tan line where the wedding band used to be is the only reminder of the times we had, good and bad. They grasp the pen that signed the pact that bound us together, seemingly forever but now it seems like......never.
Her
It feels empty nowadays, when there is nothing to clean and wash. The tan line where the wedding band used to be is the only grim reminder of the times we had, seldom good, mostly bad. They grasp the pen that signed the pact that blindingly bound me to you, seemingly forever, but now I'm glad it's never!
It feels empty nowadays, when there is nothing to hold on to. The tan line where the wedding band used to be is the only reminder of the times we had, good and bad. They grasp the pen that signed the pact that bound us together, seemingly forever but now it seems like......never.
Her
It feels empty nowadays, when there is nothing to clean and wash. The tan line where the wedding band used to be is the only grim reminder of the times we had, seldom good, mostly bad. They grasp the pen that signed the pact that blindingly bound me to you, seemingly forever, but now I'm glad it's never!
90 beeps
02.09.08
8.50am
CTE
ERP: 9 freaking dollars.
It is one of those mornings when I just couldn't drag my feet to walk 10 mins to the train station and end up being sweaty and agitated, so I hailed a cab, an old Nissan Cedric (there are only a handful of them left on the roads) to save myself from being canned like a sardine.
I like old cabs; the worn out seats, stale smell of the car and cracks on the passenger window gives me a feeling of nostalgia. The taxi was running on an old meter. The button for adding the surcharges comes only in 10 cents denomination (newer models come with dollar options). The poor taxi driver had to press the button 90 freaking times to add up the $9 ERP surcharge. Hearing 90 beeps at one go sounded like Wall.E on steroids.
The taxi driver, after adding up the sums turned around and said that this is the first time he clocked so much in ERP charges as he normally drives night shifts. The look on his face was a mixture of sheepishness and empathy. Sheepish because he feels bad for taking money from me on behalf of the G, empathy because he can understand how bad I must be feeling having my money taken away from me.
He asked me if I needed a receipt, thinking that I can probably get it reimbursed at work. But I told him no. This is my lunch money, just take it.
8.50am
CTE
ERP: 9 freaking dollars.
It is one of those mornings when I just couldn't drag my feet to walk 10 mins to the train station and end up being sweaty and agitated, so I hailed a cab, an old Nissan Cedric (there are only a handful of them left on the roads) to save myself from being canned like a sardine.
I like old cabs; the worn out seats, stale smell of the car and cracks on the passenger window gives me a feeling of nostalgia. The taxi was running on an old meter. The button for adding the surcharges comes only in 10 cents denomination (newer models come with dollar options). The poor taxi driver had to press the button 90 freaking times to add up the $9 ERP surcharge. Hearing 90 beeps at one go sounded like Wall.E on steroids.
The taxi driver, after adding up the sums turned around and said that this is the first time he clocked so much in ERP charges as he normally drives night shifts. The look on his face was a mixture of sheepishness and empathy. Sheepish because he feels bad for taking money from me on behalf of the G, empathy because he can understand how bad I must be feeling having my money taken away from me.
He asked me if I needed a receipt, thinking that I can probably get it reimbursed at work. But I told him no. This is my lunch money, just take it.
Monday, September 1, 2008
I'll never be caught dead......
Early this morning, I found 2 pictures of a colleague in my mailbox who, after much deliberation, decided that they were her best pictures to be posted on our corporate website for a feature on 'the day in the life of an employee'. Talk about putting your best face forward.
The first one is just a normal profile picture with her smiling sweetly. I have no problem with that. Now, the second picture.....maybe she is just trying to show us the "I'm-cuter-than-the-powerpuff-girls-combined" side of her, but it really is not funny when you are over 30 and posing with a kawaii "V" sign with your hands sticking to your face.
The V pose, or any other cutesy hand sign poses are strictly for beings below 5 (for boys) and 10(for girls). Any attempt by anyone to take pictures in these poses beyond the ages is vomit inducing. At this point I am tempted to pose a picture of my male colleague who committed this offence not so long ago, but he has recently shown interest in a member of the opposite sex and I do not want to put an abrupt end to it.
I will never be caught dead posing with the V sign. If you can dig out a picture of me in that pose, I'll buy you a meal. No, make it two (but you must promise to destroy it afterwards). Neither will I (in ascending order of grossness) be caught dead:
1. Wearing low V neck t-shirts that dips all the way down to my torso
2. Scratching my crotch in public
3. Hanging out with my ex-boss stinky
4. Wearing denim shorts
Some of you must wonder why I put wearing denim shorts after hanging out with stinky. Its a close fight I admit, but if I hang out with stinky, I can stand at a distance away from him. If I wear denim shorts, everyone will stand at a distance away from me. I've encountered many gross middle aged men who thinks wearing tight denim shorts is the "in" thing and can accentuate their "curves". I find it plain disturbing and have nightmares afterwards. Denim shorts are only for ladies with tight tushes and slim cellulite free gams.
Now you know my ultimate nightmare: Stinky in low V neck t-shirt and denim shorts scratching his crotch in public.
The first one is just a normal profile picture with her smiling sweetly. I have no problem with that. Now, the second picture.....maybe she is just trying to show us the "I'm-cuter-than-the-powerpuff-girls-combined" side of her, but it really is not funny when you are over 30 and posing with a kawaii "V" sign with your hands sticking to your face.
The V pose, or any other cutesy hand sign poses are strictly for beings below 5 (for boys) and 10(for girls). Any attempt by anyone to take pictures in these poses beyond the ages is vomit inducing. At this point I am tempted to pose a picture of my male colleague who committed this offence not so long ago, but he has recently shown interest in a member of the opposite sex and I do not want to put an abrupt end to it.
I will never be caught dead posing with the V sign. If you can dig out a picture of me in that pose, I'll buy you a meal. No, make it two (but you must promise to destroy it afterwards). Neither will I (in ascending order of grossness) be caught dead:
1. Wearing low V neck t-shirts that dips all the way down to my torso
2. Scratching my crotch in public
3. Hanging out with my ex-boss stinky
4. Wearing denim shorts
Some of you must wonder why I put wearing denim shorts after hanging out with stinky. Its a close fight I admit, but if I hang out with stinky, I can stand at a distance away from him. If I wear denim shorts, everyone will stand at a distance away from me. I've encountered many gross middle aged men who thinks wearing tight denim shorts is the "in" thing and can accentuate their "curves". I find it plain disturbing and have nightmares afterwards. Denim shorts are only for ladies with tight tushes and slim cellulite free gams.
Now you know my ultimate nightmare: Stinky in low V neck t-shirt and denim shorts scratching his crotch in public.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Guest Blogger Vol. 1 - Monogamy
In the 1st Vol. of my Guest Blogger Series, I invited my colleague APSD a.k.a Horseman to do the honours. Now, a bit about this multi-hyphenated dark knight in multi-coloured socks. He is NOT a Bangladeshi, a fact he reiterated countless times and till this day, I still cannot differentiate an I from a B other than the spelling. He is the livewire in the office, so much so that he had to be isolated to prevent our productivity from dipping, especially in my department. Don't be mistaken, he can move mountains if he puts his mind to it, but I suspect he is a secret fan of Masters & Slaves (not the cardboard game) as he needs to be whipped to get into action.
On Monogamy:
In his opening monologue in Annie Hall, Woody Allen quoted Groucho Marx when he said that he'd never be a part of a club that would have him as a member….my feelings on love and relationships is similar. I can never love someone who would want me as her boyfriend. I mean clearly this bright spark has awful taste in men if she chooses me as her heavenly consort for a period of time.
So it is after years that I'm at a loss for words when asked to delve on the science of monogamy. So ignorant am I on this subject that for the longest time I thought the word was used to describe a certain race of pygmies in the jungles of Ecuador. In layman's terms it means one punani per person. Now this theory has always been lost on me. How do you stick to a person when you've already lost all interest in her because she says she loves you? The committed folks will be issuing ‘fatwas’ as they read this but I'll have you know that I come from a gene pool of polygamists. If it wasn't for my father we would have carried on a proud tradition of many lives with many wives. Take my grandfather for example. Our main wingman had a harem…yes a harem just before the dawn of independence. When, I go back to the village and am given a tour of our estate I come across this solid brick house (soundproofed no doubt) where, he'd go for a game of billiards with his many women. So disgusted was my father by this series of unfortunate events that he's been happily married to the same woman for 29 years and has never looked at anyone else. So disgusted am I with my father that I look at everyone else (You know what they say…the genes always skip a generation) so disgusted is my brother with me that he's stuck to the same woman for five years and intends to marry her sometime in the near future.
I don't need to look far to prove to you that monogamy is a doomed profession. Look at the animal kingdom. Check out that praying mantis dude. All his life he stands in front of his beloved Mrs. Mantis and prays in front of her 'Sleep with me and I'll be yours forever' after years of cajoling she sleeps with him and what does she do? She rips his fucking head off. Likewise with the black widow….first she weaves a web of deceit and then plunges her deadly poison into the monogamist's heart killing him after they have sex. They say that a man is most vulnerable after an orgasm and if you ask him anything at that point he’ll tell only the truth and bare his soul. It’s lousy isn’t it that at that exact point of time he’s killed.
Tell me. Where is the justice in this?
But polygamy is not a bed of roses as well. I’ll give you a woman’s perspective in a short note I’d like to title "A polygamist’s worst nightmare’:
In ancient Hindu mythology there was a woman called Draupadi and she had five husbands. Yes five men to put up with. If there was a Nobel prize for patience back then they should have just given it to her. She makes time for all of them and also produces very many babies from all five. And then what happens? Some villain dudes from the other camp sneaks into their sleeping quarters and proceeds to chop up all her kids. I mean what the fuck! Didn’t the villain dudes know how tough it was to bring these kids up? Tragic really.
The best solution I feel is to follow a path of Individualism. No Monogamy, no Polygamy. Just love to live with who you are.
Afterthoughts:
I somehow thought that APSD would be a monogamist (how naive!) by the way he talks about his ex-girlfriend. Now I think he is a serial monogamist: he preaches monogamy to one female at a time, concurrently.
For more APSD rantings, you can visit Midnight in a Perfect World.
On Monogamy:
In his opening monologue in Annie Hall, Woody Allen quoted Groucho Marx when he said that he'd never be a part of a club that would have him as a member….my feelings on love and relationships is similar. I can never love someone who would want me as her boyfriend. I mean clearly this bright spark has awful taste in men if she chooses me as her heavenly consort for a period of time.
So it is after years that I'm at a loss for words when asked to delve on the science of monogamy. So ignorant am I on this subject that for the longest time I thought the word was used to describe a certain race of pygmies in the jungles of Ecuador. In layman's terms it means one punani per person. Now this theory has always been lost on me. How do you stick to a person when you've already lost all interest in her because she says she loves you? The committed folks will be issuing ‘fatwas’ as they read this but I'll have you know that I come from a gene pool of polygamists. If it wasn't for my father we would have carried on a proud tradition of many lives with many wives. Take my grandfather for example. Our main wingman had a harem…yes a harem just before the dawn of independence. When, I go back to the village and am given a tour of our estate I come across this solid brick house (soundproofed no doubt) where, he'd go for a game of billiards with his many women. So disgusted was my father by this series of unfortunate events that he's been happily married to the same woman for 29 years and has never looked at anyone else. So disgusted am I with my father that I look at everyone else (You know what they say…the genes always skip a generation) so disgusted is my brother with me that he's stuck to the same woman for five years and intends to marry her sometime in the near future.
I don't need to look far to prove to you that monogamy is a doomed profession. Look at the animal kingdom. Check out that praying mantis dude. All his life he stands in front of his beloved Mrs. Mantis and prays in front of her 'Sleep with me and I'll be yours forever' after years of cajoling she sleeps with him and what does she do? She rips his fucking head off. Likewise with the black widow….first she weaves a web of deceit and then plunges her deadly poison into the monogamist's heart killing him after they have sex. They say that a man is most vulnerable after an orgasm and if you ask him anything at that point he’ll tell only the truth and bare his soul. It’s lousy isn’t it that at that exact point of time he’s killed.
Tell me. Where is the justice in this?
But polygamy is not a bed of roses as well. I’ll give you a woman’s perspective in a short note I’d like to title "A polygamist’s worst nightmare’:
In ancient Hindu mythology there was a woman called Draupadi and she had five husbands. Yes five men to put up with. If there was a Nobel prize for patience back then they should have just given it to her. She makes time for all of them and also produces very many babies from all five. And then what happens? Some villain dudes from the other camp sneaks into their sleeping quarters and proceeds to chop up all her kids. I mean what the fuck! Didn’t the villain dudes know how tough it was to bring these kids up? Tragic really.
The best solution I feel is to follow a path of Individualism. No Monogamy, no Polygamy. Just love to live with who you are.
Afterthoughts:
I somehow thought that APSD would be a monogamist (how naive!) by the way he talks about his ex-girlfriend. Now I think he is a serial monogamist: he preaches monogamy to one female at a time, concurrently.
For more APSD rantings, you can visit Midnight in a Perfect World.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Smells Like Team Spirit
NAGA in action at the Singapore Dragonboat Festival June 2008, courtesy of Roystern.
P.S. Check out the cute guy at the uppermost right hand corner!
Secret Indulgence@Work
I thrive and derive motivation from:
1. Sending stinker mails to external vendors (and sometimes internal clients), especially in the mornings
2. Taking ugly pictures of colleagues and posting them online
Life isn't that bad afterall!
1. Sending stinker mails to external vendors (and sometimes internal clients), especially in the mornings
2. Taking ugly pictures of colleagues and posting them online
Life isn't that bad afterall!
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